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Ohhh, Everyone’s Just Lying About Who They Are 

August 1, 2023

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Image of a tanaman liar plant that is covered is water or dew
pictured: a tanaman liar

Ohhhhh… people just lie. People just make things up and sell stuff. Someone should have taught us that in a class called “Business of The Internet 101”. 

I knew this was a truth in the world. Of course there’s liars and cheats. I just didn’t realize the people I looked up to are liars and cheats. One email from a brand I used to love this weekend and I could see the lies so clearly.

I’m going through a Saturn Return in Pisces. As if having a Saturn return in an emotional little water sign wasn’t enough. This return is happening in my 9th house.

When most people think about the 9th house, they think about higher education, foreign travel, and religion. The 9th also rules belief systems. A fact you might not know or care about unless you too were having your beliefs systems shattered by your Saturn Return.


I’ve been trying to catch up on 1,000+ episodes of One Piece lately. There are a lot of plot twists in those thousand episodes. Let me tell you, the whiplash I get from watching four plot twists in the span of two twenty minute One Piece episodes is NOTHING compared to the whiplash I have been getting from my shifting and shattering beliefs. IYKYK

I am tired. Yet, here I am again with another afternoon realization. People lie. People lie all the time to get what they want, especially in business and especially on the internet.

Your favorite people lie. The people you once thought the world of lie. The worst part is the lies are so easy to see. It’s just easier to ignore them and keep dreaming about the perfect people you aspire to become one day.

Unfortunately, you can’t become like someone if you don’t even know who they really are. You certainly can’t become someone who doesn’t even know who they really are themselves. 

It’s such a bummer when the curtain is lifted and you start to see how things work behind the scenes. The more I figure out who I am without proving myself, the more I see people stuck trying to do just that.

I got an email from a brand I’ve loved for years with a message from the founder. How exciting! Updates from this founder are rare. This was a cool email to peek into how the last challenge she hosted within her community changed her life.

The email talked about upcoming things she’s selling for the rest of the year. She’s also hosting a new challenge for the community.

That’s when I saw it, the lie. 

She bragged about how nearly 100% of her community gets results when they do this challenge. Then I thought, how does she know that? I’ve never been asked if I’ve gotten results from her challenges. I’ve never seen polls or any kind of data collected to see how many people got results.

She just said that at the end of her email because it sounded good. Not because it was the truth.

Why are we so afraid of the truth?

Who cares if she doesn’t know the percent of people who get results? Who cares if less than 50% of people get results? Who cares if the only results people got were a feeling of confidence and nothing else?

The answer is the wrong people. The wrong people care.

We get so caught up trying to prove ourselves that we lie to make sure people can see our greatness. It’s sad.

She doesn’t have to lie to get people to buy into her challenge. The right people would have bought even without a made up percent of the number of people who got results.

She’s created this story that people only want her services if she’s able to provide a physical result. She thinks people need to know that her system works. She’s decided that a feeling of confidence isn’t enough, the service isn’t enough, and she’s not enough.

I know you’re probably thinking this is a deep analysis for a woman I haven’t met, but I don’t need to meet her. I was her.

I didn’t lie about anything in my marketing, but I was obsessed with making sure people heard what I thought they wanted to hear to say yes. When someone said yes to one of my products or services, that meant they were saying I was good enough.

I cared about my coaching clients feeling confident more than anything, but I talked about money and strategies.

I cared about people learning to trust their intuition and do things their own way. But, people wanted formulas so I stuck to frameworks for business growth.

I desperately wanted people to know they weren’t alone and I struggled too sometimes. But, I didn’t think anyone would hire me if they knew I failed sometimes so I kept quiet.

We are so afraid of people finding out who we really are and how things are really going. Sometimes that means we lie like this founder. Sometimes that means we hide our own truths. 

Either way, we deserve more

It took me almost a year to realize that. A year ago I wrote that all I wanted to do was creatively document my life. I couldn’t have done that a year ago because I wasn’t ready to honestly share my life.

Everything I posted on the internet was a version of me that I thought was “good enough” to share.

Wish someone would have told me this then, but all parts of you are good enough to share.

I am worthy of my needs being met even if I haven’t signed a new client in 7 months.

I am worthy of love even if I have tried to sell retreats all year long and it’s gone nowhere.

I am worthy of being seen even if I don’t want to post on social media any more.

I am good enough even if I don’t feel like other people see it.

This founder didn’t have to lie about the number of people who are successful to prove her challenge is worth it. Just like I don’t have to hide the shitty things I’ve been going through to prove that I’m good enough to pay attention to.

“Why do all these people lie??” I ask myself.

But I know the answer. It’s because they’ve decided the truth makes them unworthy of what they want. Or that somehow their truth makes their desires unaccessible.

I used to think my truths would ruin my life and business forever. You here reading this proves that’s untrue.

The truth is I didn’t want to run a coaching business anymore, so I stopped running it.

The truth is I had more answers for myself than any coach could ever give me. So I stopped hiring them.

The truth is I’m not on this planet to work, so I stopped working.

I used to think all those truths were too outlandish to face myself, let alone tell anyone else.

How would I make money?

How would I survive?

How would I live?

All the questions I faced as I worried about people finding out who I really am and what I’m really going through.

I’m sure the founder might think the same things if she were asked to tell the truth, to admit she doesn’t know how many people get results from her challenges. She might ask:

How will I sell the challenge?

Who would buy it without knowing that it’s super successful and what I’ve created works?

How will I make money?

All the wrong questions. You can answer these wrong questions with one simple sentence: I just will.

This entire year I’ve had money come to me in ways I never could have predicted. I did more than survive. I’ve truly lived.

I’m not hiding who I am to prove I’m worth it. I’m not hiding my truths just to force my way into getting the things I want. When I accept all of who I am and what I’m going through, things flow to me. I’m done settling for anything less.

I guess there’s a trade off. Now, I’m starting to become aware when others think they have to lie to get what they want. Even my favorite people are a little bit scared and a little unsure about if they’re good enough.

I guess in case no one told you today, here’s a reminder:

No matter what you’re going through or what your truth is, who you are right now is good enough. 



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Hi, I'm Ashley!

Certified Life and Business Coach and
Co-Founder of Living Adventures Retreats


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