The Blog

How My Dog Helped Me Stop Comparing Myself

August 11, 2023

A FREE workshop on how to use repeatable social media strategies to hit $10K months.

I’m not saying getting a dog will solve all of your problems, but I am suggesting that getting a dog could solve 95% of them. 

Just this morning I was writing about how unrecognized I’ve been feeling lately. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that wrong side being social media.

How did the girl who deleted all of her apps wake up to the wrong side of social media? Turns out just because you delete your problems doesn’t mean you can avoid them.

A friend sent me a video of a writer she admires and I started comparing myself. She showed me how some of her videos are going viral on TikTok. I started reminiscing over the days I too had viral videos. 

Next thing you know, I’m in a negative thought spiral about how life is meaningless and no one ever recognizes me or the things I have to say. Gross. I used my morning pages to make sense of all the negative jargon. You can actually read my word for word entry here (coming soon). 

I’ve noticed lately that awareness of a problem and a desire to find a solution is enough to make the solution appear. In my pages, I decided that all I can do is recognize all the cool things about my life myself instead of waiting around for others to do the same. I left it at that. 

I didn’t make a grand plan for how I would find recognition. I didn’t force myself to post to social media to see if I could get enough views on a video to make me feel good about myself. Turns out there are no amount of views from strangers that will make you feel good about yourself. 

Instead, I continued on with my plans for the day. That looked like getting dressed and taking Max out for a morning adventure in Boston. 

Oh, how I’ve missed morning adventures with Max. When I did my no media week, I went on a morning adventure with Max every other day to fill the time. It was magical. 

I walked along the Harbor Walk in the North End and saw how quiet the city can get when the only people out are the delivery guys making their stops. 

I visited Adrian at work and reminded myself of how much I hate the hustle and bustle of downtown in the middle of the afternoon. 

I even explored a marsh reservation and went bird watching for the very first time. That was the most magical experience of all. 

Unfortunately, the week after no media week there was a heat wave and a warning to stay inside. It was too hot for morning adventures. I didn’t realize it then, but that left me so sad. The whole heat wave week I felt like something was missing. Which is probably what unknowingly drove my mind into a negative thought spiral about how no one pays attention to me. 

I spend most of my time alone. While some people think that’s sad, I like it. My environment is human design is selective caves. Which basically means my home is my happy place and I am perfectly content while I’m here. The problem is that it doesn’t leave much room to feel recognized by people. Especially, when I’m not posting on social media. Especially, when I spend a week without leaving the house. 

Before I left the house I didn’t know why I needed a morning adventure. I just knew that it was pretty cool outside and the sunshine was calling my name.

That’s when the magic started. 

Max and I got off our subway stop to begin our adventure around the Seaport section of the Harbor Walk and the smiles from strangers had already begun. People were telling me how cute Max was and waving to him. All very common things when I take Max out, he’s a handsome guy. 

While I was waiting at a crosswalk a mailman came up and started to say hello to Max. The problem when strangers approach Max before they approach me? Max gets extremely excited and is fully prepared to jump into their arms. 

I said, “No jumping Max!”

Immediately the mailman caught on and was commanding Max to sit. He started to talk to me while Max sat and waited. Next thing you know, this kind mailman is giving me the opportunity for a mini training session with Max and telling me about how he taught his dogs not to jump on strangers. After chatting for a little bit, the mailman tried to say hello to Max again and he was the perfect boy with all four paws on the ground. 

Funny enough, I’ve been saying to Adrian for months how I wish there was a way for us to practice Max not jumping on strangers. Did I have to hire an expensive trainer and have them come to my house to fix my problems? Nope. A stranger on the street invited me to a conversation and the next thing you know I have my practice ground. 

Now that I think of it, it’s kind of strange how the universe gives you exactly what you need if you’re open to it arriving in any package. The universe is kind of cute that way. 

Max and I continued our walk and continued our random conversations with strangers.

I almost ran into some lady as a biker passed me and then we started talking about how Max is cute and he knows it. 

I smiled at strangers who were passing by and smiling at me and Max.

I made jokes with a couple passing by about how Max loves to stop and smell the roses. 

So many interactions in such a short amount of time. 

As Max and I were crossing the bridge to leave Seaport, he was getting very over the whole walking part of the adventure. We were at a standstill and the only way I could get him to walk forward was by bribing him with a series of treats. 

As we were walking, treats in my hand and a happy pup staring up at me with a goofy little face, I looked forward and saw a woman give me the biggest smile. I smiled back. 

That’s when it hit me. I am recognized. Every single person who flashed a smile my way are my people. They see me. 

There were tons of people who ignored me on my walk, but there were also a handful of people who recognized me, who found joy in my life, and smiled at me for whatever Max and I were doing. 

Wow, did I need that. People recognize the joy that Max and I bring to each other. People recognize when I’m struggling to convince Max that walking more is a good idea. 

In every little smirk and smile, people are finding joy in my being and life. That makes me so happy! 

An invitation, a manifestation, and a feeling of recognition all from one little walk?? My goodness I am so lucky! 

I can’t say any of that would have happened if I didn’t have Max with me. Cute little puppies help people break through their cold exteriors. It warms their hearts up just enough to see the lovely person standing beside it.

I’m not saying a dog can solve all your problems, but I can say a dog helped me overcome a lot of mine. He helps me solve problems I never even knew how to solve just by existing and giving me a fun buddy to adventure with outside. 

It’s a 10/10 morning which I imagine will lead to a 10/10 day. Quite the turn around after waking up to a grumpy thought spiral. 

Here are my tips of the day:

  1. Learn about your human design
  2. Follow your strategy and authority 
  3. If the strategy and authority lead you to it, get a dog and let them solve most of your problems in unexpected ways 

I’m a projector and Max came to me through an invitation. He’s been helping solve all my life’s problems ever since. 



In case you missed it:

  1. I took on a “media deprivation” week, where I spent an entire week without any social media, TV, or BOOKS. The Initial Shock of it had me going through all five stages of grief.
  2. I removed the paywall from all of the private blog entries that were once connected to the Intuitive Confidential Membership.
  3. After hitting more rock bottoms than I can count this year I realized The Truth About Rock Bottoms is vary contrary to the advice most people give.
  4. I discovered you can’t trust your favorite idols on the internet because Everyone Is Just Lying About Who They Are.
  5. I Cheated on my “media deprivation” week but I promise I had a really good reason!

Donate to Intuitive Confidential

Make a one time donation or a recurring donation using the box below. Once you select your donation preferences, you can finish checking out by using your credit/debit card or PayPal account.

I'd like this amount to  
Share this post

Hi, I'm Ashley!

Certified Life and Business Coach and
Co-Founder of Living Adventures Retreats


free reads



donate to


You valuing my stories and thoughts is enough. Enough for me to keep writing as long as the universe keeps providing me with the resources to do so. If you’ve valued my writing and my stories enough to donate, that’s just mother effing icing on the cake! Want to show your appreciation? 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *